Our Mission 

The Relationship Design School’s mission is the development of Relational Intelligence - the ability to create and sustain fulfilling connections. We see relationships as an eco system that involves the relationship with oneself, others, and every aspect of our lives – time, money, our body, the place where we live… Sustaining all these relationships is an art and a craft. And the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives - as Esther Perel - one of the most original and recognised voices on modern relationships - put it strongly and clearly .

At the Relationship Design School we consider our relationships as creative processes where we can be intentional and deliberate. This does not mean that the spontaneity and emergent quality of co-creation, which happens in a relationship, is lost. We believe that when we become aware of our relational needs and values, when we understand how crucial our part is in the relating process, we are better prepared to be a conscious co-creator in the relationships that we want to have in our lives.

The school year

Spring Term: March 1st - June 15th

Autumn Term: September 1st - December 15th

The School Programmes

Relationship Design Circles

Relationship Design Workshops

Relationship Design Retreats

The Relationship Design Process

Relationship Design as a process involves learning about our relationship patterns. By becoming aware of our existing patterns, we better see what has worked well so far in our relationships and what has not. The next step is re-patterning - approaching differently what hasn’t worked so far.

As with any Design Process, Relationship Design follows certain steps. We use a well known Design model called the 4D Model to explore human relationships ( https://www.designcouncil.org.uk/our-resources/the-double-diamond/) . The first two steps - Discover and Define - are about revealing the habitual patterns in our relating with ourselves and others. The third step – Develop - is all about re-patterning. What do I want instead of what does not work in my relationships? Or, what do I want more from what works already? The fourth step – Deliver – is about experimenting in a relationship with a partner. When defining these four steps we are mindful that the process is not linear. The understanding of iterations in developing relationships is very important – we can try what we want to shift in our relationship first in the safety of the Relationship Design Circle (see the figure below) and then apply it in the world of our real relationships.

The Relationship Design Circles

The Relationship Design thinking informs my work with small groups (up to 10 people) ‒ the so-called Relationship Design Circles. The idea of the Relationship Design Circles was born during the Covid 19 Pandemic. I developed the idea together with my colleague, fellow psychotherapist Julia Abolina, during the first two Relationship Design Circles which we ran in 2021. These first groups inspired me to build further the concept of the Relationship Design process using the principles of circling and Dynamic Interpersonal Therapy (DIT). I continued running these new groups in 2022 and a year later The Relationship Design School was launched.

Currently, the School offers two yearly seasonal Relationship Design Circles: one in the spring under the heading Spring Cleaning and the other - Closing Cycles - towards the end of the year.  Other programmes and workshops are run on demand.

The Spring Cleaning Circle runs in March - April. The theme of this Relationship Design Circle focuses on how we bring the fresh energy of the spring into our existing relationships and also our intentions to bring new relationships into our lives.

The Closing Cycles Circle runs in November - December. At the end of a year there is a natural inclination to think about the time that has passed. What did it bring to us? What do we want to keep? What do we want to let go of before the year is gone? Are there relationships or any aspects of them that we would rather leave in the year that is about to end.

Relationship Design Circles and Workshops run on Demand:

Currently, there are also two thematic areas which are available in the format of a 3 hour Workshop and 6 week Relationship Design Circle:

Intercultural Relationship Design focuses (even if not exclusively) on how our cultural, religious, ethnic, and educational diversity shapes our relationships. These Relationship Design Circles can be also run in a work place or educational context.

Relationship Diversity Design focuses on diverse models of relating in the contemporary relationships world. People who join these circles are interested to explore open relationship such as ethical (or disclosed) non-monogamy, that might be most suited for their attachment needs as orientation and life-style choices.

How the relationship Design Circles work

The Relationship Design Circles are seven week programmes where we follow the four steps of the 4D design model. There are 6 live 90 min Zoom calls where the participants have the opportunity to stay connected and follow weekly prompts on the Relationship Design School WhatsApp thread.

Working on relationships in the Relationship Design Circles gives you the advantage of belonging to a small group, being witnessed and receiving reflections from the fellow participants and from a Relationship Therapist/Coach who facilitates the Circle.

The Relationship Design Circles are not group therapy. They are a Therapeutic Space – confidential, non-judgemental, open and safe.

Are you ready to explore these questions with others who want to expand their consciousness about the way they relate to themselves and others? If you are ready, get in touch with me. And if you have any questions about the Relationship Design School you can reach me through the Contact section in the website.

The Spring Relationship Design Circles 2024 begins on March 12th 2004.

The circles are running on March 12th, 19th, 26th and April 9th, 16th and 23rd.

If payed in advance the Cost of the circle is £397

You can also pay in two instalments. The the first instalment of £230 is due in the beginning of March and the second instalment of £200 is due in the beginning of April.